How to Write an Obituary: A Guide with an Example Format

An obituary serves as a written announcement of a loved one’s passing while celebrating their life and legacy. Writing an obituary can feel like a daunting task, especially when emotions are high, but having a clear format can make the process smoother. This guide outlines the essential elements of an obituary and provides a customizable example format to help you honor your loved one.

What Should an Obituary Include?

A well-crafted obituary typically includes the following elements:

• Announcement of Death
  • The full name of the deceased, including any nicknames or titles (e.g., Dr., Rev., etc.).
  • The date and location of passing.
  • A brief statement about the cause of death (if the family chooses to share it).
• Biographical Information
  • Date and place of birth.
  • Key milestones in their life (e.g., education, career, marriage, children).
  • Hobbies, passions, or significant achievements.
• Family Information
  • Names of surviving family members (spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings, etc.).
  • Names of predeceased family members (if desired).
• Details About the Funeral or Memorial Service
  • Date, time, and location of the service.
  • Information about visitation or any other commemorative events.
• Acknowledgments or Memorial Contributions
  • Gratitude to specific individuals, caregivers, or organizations.
  • Requests for donations to charities in lieu of flowers.

What Should You Not Include in an Obituary?

While it’s important to honor your loved one authentically, there are a few details best left out of an obituary:

• Personal criticisms or negative opinions. Obituaries are not the place to air grievances or focus on past conflicts.
• Sensitive or private information. Avoid sharing details that might be considered confidential or could put family members at risk, such as home addresses or sensitive financial information.
• Controversial topics. Stay clear of divisive subjects such as politics or opinions that could detract from the focus on the person’s life.
• Unverified facts. Ensure that all information included is accurate out of respect for the deceased and their family.

The goal is to create a respectful and meaningful tribute that brings comfort to those who read it.

Can You Write Your Own Obituary?

Absolutely. Many people choose to write their own obituary, either as a way to reflect on their lives or to ensure their story is told in their own words. While it isn’t required, drafting your own obituary can ease the burden on loved ones during a difficult time and give you the chance to highlight moments and memories that matter most to you.

If you decide to go this route, consider jotting down important milestones, achievements, and values you’d like remembered. You don’t have to cover every detail—focus on what feels true and meaningful. Some find the process therapeutic, using it to pass down stories, lessons, or simply a final message to family and friends.

Where Can You Publish an Obituary Besides a Newspaper?

While newspapers remain a traditional choice for sharing an obituary, they’re far from your only option. Many families today opt for a combination of print and digital channels to reach a wider audience and create lasting tributes.

Consider these alternatives:

• Funeral Home Websites: Most funeral homes will post the obituary on their website, making it easily accessible for friends and family, both near and far.
• Online Obituary Platforms: Websites such as Legacy.com, EulogyLab.ai and Ever Loved allow you to publish obituaries, often with options for guest books and photo sharing.
• Social Media: Platforms like Facebook or Instagram can help spread the word instantly to your network and encourage people to share memories, photos, and condolences.
• Community and Organization Newsletters: Faith communities, clubs, workplaces, and alumni associations often welcome announcements in their newsletters or email bulletins.
• Personal Blogs or Family Websites: If you have a family website or blog, posting an obituary there ensures a permanent digital record and a place for extended storytelling.

Thinking about your loved one’s connections can guide where to share their obituary so that news reaches everyone who wishes to honor their memory.

Example Obituary Format

Here’s an example format you can use and customize:

[Full Name], [Age], of [City, State], passed away peacefully on [Date] at [Location] surrounded by loved ones.

[First Name] was born on [Date of Birth] in [Place of Birth] to [Parents’ Names]. [He/She/They] attended [School/College Name] and pursued a career in [Career/Profession]. [First Name] was known for [significant achievements, hobbies, or qualities].

[First Name] is survived by [list of family members, including relationships]. [He/She/They] was predeceased by [list predeceased family members, if desired].

A [type of service, e.g., funeral, memorial service, celebration of life] will be held on [Date] at [Time] at [Location]. Family and friends are welcome to attend to honor and celebrate [First Name]’s life.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to [Charity/Organization] in [First Name]’s memory.

[Optional Closing Statement or Quote]
*“To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die.” – Thomas Campbell*

Tips for Writing an Obituary

• Keep It Personal: Share details that highlight the deceased’s unique personality, such as hobbies, favorite pastimes, or quirks.
• Focus on Clarity: Write in clear, concise sentences to ensure the obituary is easy to read and understand.
• Collaborate: Involve close family members or friends to ensure important details are included.
• Be Mindful of Length: Many newspapers or online platforms have word count limits for obituaries, so check their guidelines before submitting.
• Consider the Tone: The tone of an obituary can set the mood for how your loved one’s life is remembered. Some families prefer the solemnity of a formal announcement, while others choose a tone that celebrates life more casually. Think about who will be reading the obituary and what would best honor your loved one’s memory. Matching the tone to both the audience and the personality of the deceased can make the tribute feel even more meaningful.

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing an Obituary

While writing an obituary is a heartfelt way to honor your loved one, it’s easy to overlook a few key aspects along the way. Here are some common pitfalls—and how to sidestep them:

• Leaving Out Vital Information: In the midst of telling the story of your loved one’s life, don’t forget the basics. Double-check that essential details like full name, date of passing, service arrangements, and the list of surviving family members are included. Omitting these can create confusion or leave readers searching for crucial information.
• Missing Important People or Life Events: Sometimes, significant relationships or milestones are accidentally excluded, especially if you’re relying on memory alone. To avoid unintentional omissions, share your draft with close family or friends who can help fill in the blanks and ensure everyone meaningful is acknowledged.
• Unbalanced Tone: Finding the right voice is important. An obituary that’s overly formal may feel impersonal, while one that's too casual can come across as disrespectful. Aim for a warm, respectful tone that genuinely reflects the personality of your loved one and comforts those who are grieving.

By steering clear of these common mistakes and taking a thoughtful, collaborative approach, you can create an obituary that is both informative and deeply meaningful.

Why Revising and Proofreading Matter

Taking time to carefully review and revise an obituary is essential. Because obituaries are shared widely—both in newspapers and online—they become a permanent record of a loved one’s life. Ensuring all names, dates, and locations are correct not only honors the individual but also shows respect for family, friends, and readers who will cherish these memories for years to come.

A thoughtful revision also allows you to fine-tune the tone. Whether you’re aiming for a formal notice or a more lighthearted celebration, a second look helps strike the right balance based on your audience and the personality of your loved one.

Finally, sharing your draft with trusted family or friends can offer valuable perspectives and help catch any overlooked details. These collaborative touches ensure the final obituary is both accurate and heartfelt—a tribute worthy of your loved one’s story.

What Should You Do If You’re Unsure About Including Certain Details?

If you’re unsure whether to mention specific family members or events, it’s always helpful to reach out to those who knew your loved one best. Consider asking close relatives or friends to review your draft and offer their perspectives. This collaborative approach helps ensure important moments and people are thoughtfully included, and can also prevent unintentional oversights. A second set of eyes—especially from someone with a different relationship to the deceased—can add valuable context and help make the obituary as complete and meaningful as possible.

How Do You Submit an Obituary for Publication?

Once you have written the obituary, you'll need to decide where you'd like it to be published. Each publication has its own guidelines—so it’s helpful to consider a few options:

• Funeral Home Websites: Many funeral homes offer to publish the obituary on their own website at no extra cost when you use their services. This is a good way to quickly reach family and friends.
• Online Obituary Platforms: National websites like Legacy.com let you post obituaries online for wider visibility. These platforms often sync with local newspapers and offer options for guestbooks or photo sharing.
• Social Media: Sharing the obituary on social media, such as Facebook, can rapidly inform friends and extended family, especially those who may not read local papers.
• Local Newspapers: Print newspapers, and their websites, remain a traditional way to share an obituary with the broader community. Visit the newspaper's website for submission details—some allow online form submissions, while others may require an email or phone call. Be sure to check for deadlines, word count limits, fees, and any required documentation (such as a death certificate or authorization from next of kin).

Before submitting, review the publication’s guidelines to ensure your obituary meets their requirements. Don’t hesitate to publish in multiple places—this ensures everyone who may wish to honor your loved one has a chance to read about their life.

Final Thoughts

Writing an obituary is an opportunity to celebrate the life of your loved one while informing others of their passing. By including the essential elements and tailoring the format to reflect their unique story, you can craft a meaningful tribute that honors their memory.

If you find the process overwhelming, EulogyLab can help. Our platform guides you step-by-step, helping you create a heartfelt and polished obituary with ease. Let us help you honor your loved one with the care and attention they deserve.